My Pitas page

Pitas.com
DiaryLand
yahoo
benicetobears

wat a day.. the day gonna end soon.. and i've got headache.. feeling a bit tired.. slept in the evening.. chicken kenadian.. but still feel sleepy.. argh.. well, a new term and i need to concentrate too..

still im confuse.. cant find the right track.. i cant possibly point the finger to anyone.. fark.. everything is really stuck up and its not helpig me.. are u hiding?.. or u are just invisible to my eyes?.. can u see me?.. i can see u.. clearly.. but do u notice me?.. i dun think so.. its such a drag.. its not even close to reach your hands.. sigh.. wat more can i do?.. life has always been a bitch!..

Please pull me out of this darkness
I'm trapped and struggled till the you appear in my dreams
It's the attention that i crave from you that I've wished for
But instead it was pain that you gave
It got buried in me, real deep
I was lonely, overwhelmed by this misfortune
Why can't you see my sufferings?
Is it hard to be felt or noticed?
Why cant u be the angel from above
The one that will get me out of this clutches of melancholy
Im really lost in this world of infinite misery
I've got my sense of directions all wrong
And i felt redundant and crippled with no help at all
All options used and nothing is left
But there is something missing in you
and thats hope..

ps: wats the meaning of love when it can only break apart your heart? ~cheers~

skool is boring.. as usual.. but at least theres change to out time-table.. get to go home at early now.. but the lastest is dreadful.. 5!! fark! nvm..

just wondering hows if im still lost in my own realm.. sigh.. cant be distorted just because of all dis.. shit happens.. so wadehelling.. like i care?.. yes no maybe i dunno.. how to avoid all dis? chicken kenadian! sigh... wat a luck.. the image in of mind just cant stop flickering.. its really hurting.. i dun even noe whether to cry or to laff or to let it be or be statue to it.. haiz.. pain has always been a pleasure..

are u my doll?

ps: there's so much joy if only.. ~cheers~

ARGH!!!.. that pain! it came again.. unbearable.. just the tot of u and den came the blow.. chicken kenadian.. when will all dis have a break?.. all dis will end if only.. sigh~

was out the whole day.. ate a lot of food but still cannot the mass i wanted.. fark! but nevermind.. i will be bigger den anyone.. conferm babat berlapis.. -grins- but overall best.. get to spend wit my 3 supercharge cousins.. super active.. from morning till nite cannot sit still.. sure up to something.. though feeling shitty, they really get my day started.. Esp to dis dude, ananconda_overdose.. u really made my day..

You like the stars above
Seen when the sky is clear
Atrracting my attention by flickering
You seem so near yet so far
There are millions out there
But i choose u,the brightest
But wats so great about a lite
That is far away from us
i tried to grasp you
What am i thinking
i cant even reach it
but i can admire it from far
starry, starry nite...

ps: nothing can overcome this pain brought by u.. ~cheers~

happy?.. -whines- nothings seems to be rite for now.. cikopeh.. so wat if nothing is okay?.. where can i find that cure to dis pain?..

later goin out.. yey! eat eat eat.. dats the only thing i noe wat to do.. but never get fat.. boo hoo.. haiyah.. cant be bothered.. now all i want is to be happy!! but its just too difficult.. so near yet so far to be reached..

where did i go wrong?
i should have told you from the start
that i'm closer then you think
when we're apart
nothing that i've tried
is as simple as this line
but without you
my life is incomplete
my days are absolutely gray
and so I'll try
let your heart know for sure
that i have so much more to tell you
every single day

ps: Hopeless.. it cant be worked out.. ~cheers~

Dulu, kita bercinta.
Kau asyik bermanja; hatiku gembira.
Kini, hilangnya semua.
Janji yang kao lafazkan.
Kau biar ku disini;
Mencari dan mengerti.
Oh betapa ku rindukan;
Saat kita bersama...

Tiada kesilapanku;
Dirimu terpaksa pergi meninggalkan ku.
Tiada lagi harapan;
Kerana kekasaran yang telah ku lakukan.

Oh _______*ku
Cintamu luar biasa. Masih ku ingatkan lagi;
Janji sumpah setiamu.
Apakah ini balasannya kau beri?
Tanpa ragu-ragu dengan ku kau pergi,
Lalu meninggalkan ku sendiri..

*fit ur name in... -laf laf-

ps: the truth is.. i love u.. ~cheers~

pain is really a pleasure.. yeah.. dis is damn rite.. that torturing feeling still wont fade away.. but at least i noe how to get about wit it.. and well oh well.. its still hurting.. sigh.. y cant it simply go away?.. argh.. its just a waste of time..

at least u've made the crystal clear and.. gosh! thank you.. it really helps me see better.. but it hurts.. cant say much bout it.. good to noe dat u're happy.. its time to learn to pick up all the things which i have left behind and put it back together.. dis will sure break my heart..

Won't you come over?
You know that you want to.
How does it feel to know
I still want you?
Why do we always seem,
To want what we can't have?
Lessons learned.
But then I listen to my heart,
And it says still run back for more.
I'm happy for you.
I'm sure that he really loves you.
But it breaks my heart,
To know I can't hold you.
It's just hard to think
I'll never get the chance
To say your mine.
But every time you hear this song
You'll know you've made a mark
On my heart and my mind.

ps: the truth is.. i love u.. ~cheers~

u were once my doll and u were always be.. the sight of u is simply outstanding and gorgeous.. damn!.. u are so adorable.. nothing can be compared.. too much words to describe u and i guess it be more den the dictionary..

why is there word called unfairness?.. y?.. can anyone make me understand?.. is it just a test to live in dis temporary life?.. why cant it be easy to live?.. why am i feeling like dis? fark!.. why is it there still so many unanswered prayers?.. is God busy?.. sigh.. still ther's no answers to all dis and some more.. haiz~

Forget the story you heard,
Why are you worried about the dirt.
I don't think that you'll mind
When it's your time.
Cause I will be there with you
And we'll figure out what to do
So that you don't get bored.
You'll never be alone;.
I will always hold your hand
I'll never let you fall,
'cause nothing
Nothing else matters at all...
If you're scared just think of me
'cause you know I'll never let you be...
Anywhere.. but with me.

ps: cant believe its true... its all gone... ~cheers~

why is there still no answer at all to dis riddle?.. im so confuse.. disappointed.. no hope at all.. wat to do.. nothing to do too.. haiz.. all the pain still deep within.. couldn't help it though.. fark..

ouch?

I am so far away
and I don't watch the things
that I do that put me to shame.
I need Your light to see the right things
that get me closer to Your grace.
Your hand is always in reach for me.
You pick me up and put me on my feet.
You are with me in the tough times
that I see.
I don't want to live a life of sin,
but I find myself there all the time.
I don't realize what kind of example I make

ps: cant believe its true.. its all gone.. ~cheers~

haiz... time will tell the whole truth... and it will be the whole truth... haiyah... theres no one to consult... everything shattered just like dat... the room is already like a box... i cant see where i will lead into the future... she cant be there... so sad to say: u noe wat i mean... wadahelling... life has never been fair...

so bored.. dunno wat to do already.. got home after hangin out.. but still no use braggin if i'm bored... wat to do... eat and eat.. dats all i noe to do~

Can't you see that i wanna be there with open arms
It's empty tonight and i'm all alone
Get me through this one
Do you notice i'm gone?
Where do you run to so far away?
I want you to know that I miss you I miss you so
I want you to know that I miss you I miss you so
I'm writing again these letters to you on much I know
But i'm not sleeping and you're not here
The thought stops my heart
No more looking i've found her
I'm gone away...

ps: cant believe its true.. its all gone.. ~cheers~

wake too early seh today... damn!.. but still okay lar.. cos need to do some work and dens blast off to nowhere.. -laffs-

its so near yet so far.. felt the distant.. tried to overcome it but nothing seems to help.. every step forward i took, i move back.. its so difficult and so heartbroken.. sigh.. i never felt dat way for a long time and till now as i type dis thingie still can feel it.. haiyah..

Summer time, the nights are so long
The leaves fall down, and so do I into
the arms of a friend
Winter nights
My bedside is cold, for I am gone
And spring blossoms you to me

ps: cant believe its true.. its all gone.. ~cheers~

wow wow whee...! u hit the target dude... and it was a nice shot... well... try harder... make sure u practise more and have lots of confident in urself u moron... damn it hurts... after wat i set me on fire, u lick it away and ask to be normal again? wadahelling... u shud have known better.. im more better den u.. u noe wat? i have never let my guards down before... where have u been? no where i assume... argh! IM in a LOSING position..! watever lar.. must eat till my heart content.. till satisfied.. till i die in pleasure? for u? do wat u think is good for u... ~cheers~

im so confuse.. why it got to happen now?.. KASANAI.. haiyah.. feel like flying.. just farking adore the patient in IMH.. damn! they dun have probs.. they cant be bother bout wats goin on outside their room.. at least there some people who still look after their needs and care for them.. look at me! with wide eyes shut, u still can sense dat im having a prob.. bluargh~ wat should i do?.. warau.. still cannot make desicion on my own.. everytime i make one, sure go the wrong way.. farko!... wat i got to do.. someone help?.. plz~ must seek ayslum already.. more betterness... ok lar.. go.. ~cheers~

All day staring at the ceiling
Making friends with shadows on my wall
All night hearing voices telling me
That I should get some sleep
Because tomorrow might be good for something

Hold on
Feeling like I'm headed for a breakdown
And I don't know why

Chorus:
But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be, me

I'm talking to myself in public
Dodging glances on the train
And I know, I know they've all been talking about me
I can hear them whisper
And it makes me think
There must be something wrong with me
Out of all the hours thinking
Somehow I've lost my mind

Chorus

I've been talking in my sleep
Pretty soon they'll come to get me
Yeah, they're taking me away

Chorus

Yeah, how I used to be
How I used to be
Well, I'm just a little unwell
How I used to be
How I used to be
I'm just a little unwell

dis song remind wat happen on saturday.. sigh.. can i do.. like i say if worse come to worse, just do nothing.. cant be bothered... Y? Y? Y?.. y u gotta do all dat in front of me? am i a lamp post or just a shadow? damn! haiz~... all i can do is hope.. hOPE?.. wat can dis word do? fark it.. sigh..

now in skool.. online learning.. kinda of kewl.. the lecturer talk while we all doin our stuff.. -laffs- it farking cold too.. been rainin since 6am.. haiyah.. how to go back later?.. never bring an umbrella.. warau... so leceh if have to walk in the rain.. free show for me.. -grins evilly- ok lar.. need to go study if not, i die.. sure get lost.. yeah... ~cheers~

ok! finally my second phase test is done... wat can i say... got nothing to say... but anyway.. later goin out wit my gf and frens... yippie! hmm... but i got no money... den have to live in starvation... warau... must save $$$... yeah... its a MUST... well some probs have not been settle yet... my mind still not resting because of it... have to do something over... KASANAI... you guys better watch ur back cos i will strike you all one by one... if only all my toy guys are real... u all will be dead soon... -laffs- get ready... get set... GO!!! ~cheers~

*when you cried i'd wipe away all of your tears*
*when you'd scream i'd fight away all of your fears*
*i held your hand through all of these years*
*but you still have all of me*

damn dis chorus.. listen to it and move me to dis mood.. long time time neva came across it.. u noe this feeling of being shitty and down... den ur past came back as memories into ur head.. ar... -haiyah- need to wipe dat all away.. must look into the future... HOPE everything will turn just fine.. but no one noes for sure and hope can do u noe harm... damn bloody *toot toot*... if only i can predict the future... everything will be perfect... and of coz, i can avoid stupid mistakes.. ah uh.. fark it lar... so wadahelling... ~cheers~

so boring today~.. so wat the hell... well... just do normal thing like sleeping eating.. havent eat still.. maybe later... i feel i need to do some more training to build myself up... everyone growing bigger... haiz... i dunno lar... ok lar need to eat den sleep soon.. ~cheers~

goin to sentosa soon... yeayeayea... still dunno whether wanna go to that gig~ still have to be on the look out.. well i still dunno who to believe... to stay on who's side... let it be natural... let time tell all... of cos.. i must have my reason too.. so wat the hell rite... ok lar.. wanna enjoi to da max... ~cheers~

wat long day today... my bum so freaking pain... 9 hours in skool is farking too longs... -laffs- wat to do... cannot runaway from it... nevermind... just 2 years... MUST ENDURE... yeah... den shall see wat the next step... so wat da hell am i suppose to do now eh?... so bored.. nothing to do... havent eat too... soon lar eh eat... dun have the appetite to eat now... wanna go riding also got no mood... maybe i do everything at one time later larx... ok go! ~cheers~

wow! finally reach the legal age... the key to evil.. -grins- wat a befday... so many suprises.. got vans shoes.. muacks! thanks darling.. like it very much.. den got quiksilver polo shirt... wow wow wow wow~ i wanna get digicam~! must get must get.. nevermind.. today go survey.. hrmph.. ok lar.. dats all.. wat i noe im 18!!! wheeeeeeeeeee... ~cheers~

wat a day~ erm... just cannot wait fer my befday! wow wow whee~ kewl sia.. turning 18 soon.. so i guess a new beginning of a chapter to my life.. just looking forward for the future... ~cheers~

wow wow wheeee~ just got back from KL yesterday... the trip was ok lar... kinda tiring... all the activities were cramp into 2 days... so didnt expect much from the trip... got something for her there... and a sling pouch for myself there... wanted to get my frens stuff but im short of cash... so i bought them chewing gums... -laffs- skool was like fark as usual... sleeping... haiz~ must get enuf rest... ok lar ciao ting tong ~cheers~

-laffs- boring already until dunno wat to do so decided to heck about the last entries i've made.. so just continued.. well.. B-O-R-I-N-G did i spell dat correctly? ok.. i guess its rite.. haiz~ wa da fark~! ~cheers~

hmm.... nothing to do so just update dis... kinda bored and nothing much to do... BAH~! -laffs- can understand my life... is it twisted or normal?.. am i a paranoia or am i a psychopath?.. when can i be done wit all dis miserable moments in my life?.. only God knows.. HELP ANYONE?.. as if somebody can help... if only~ the word HOPE stay put in my mind... i could only wish but so far it had never come true.. TAK MO JADI EMO LAR AN~ -laffs- but its true uh... just cannot help... need to pour everything out to make myself feel betta~ ok lar.. enuf is enuf *wink* ~cheer~

this breakup song makes sense again and i really wish they didnt cos now u singing summerwind and im thinking of the night we met just one last time can i hear u say ur my little boy i'll never let u go away

*where are u please believe in me im not hanging the phone until i hear u say i love u i need u near just give me one last chance and i'll never let u down again

i dont know what i wouldnt give just to kiss u lips again to hold your hand next to my heart and wake up with u in your apartment just one last time can i call u my sweetheart your my bestfriend why do all good things come to an end

wow wow wheeee~ just testing -laffs-

altavista
google
open directory